So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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