you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
