You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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