Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
