I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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