Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
