Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
