I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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