my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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