You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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