Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize