I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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