Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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