is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize