Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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