I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
