We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
