I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
