Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
