I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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