Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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