So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
