Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
