so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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