I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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