Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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