just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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