There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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