I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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