You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
