I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize