i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
