I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize