Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
