Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
