using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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