She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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