im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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