Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize