yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
