I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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