This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
