I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Less talking, more tequila
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
