i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
