I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She's the barista slut.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
