the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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