she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
