I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize