i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
