8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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