where does the pee come out of this thing
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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