Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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