I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
