Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
