new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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