Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
