I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
