She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
