And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
