It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
