He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
