I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
