Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
