That's when you crack a 10am beer
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
