doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
